"Tis So Sweet To Trust in Jesus..."

"’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His word;

Just to rest upon His promise;

Just to know, Thus saith the Lord. 

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,

How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er,

Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!

O for grace to trust Him more. 

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,

Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;

And I know that Thou art with me,

Wilt be with me to the end...."

When JC and I found out we were expecting, we were BEYOND excited. Words were not and are not enough to express how we felt and currently feel. A few weeks into my pregnancy, I had an unexpected visit to the doctor's office. I had major concerns after bleeding for quite some time so we wanted to get checked and hopefully have some peace of mind. WELL, that visit, definitely, didn't give us peace of mind! After checking everything, the doctor goes... "well... you are indeed pregnant BUT most likely this is a miscarriage.." My heart dropped.... and for a few hours I wasn't able to process anything. The doctor advised us to see another doctor the following week to check if the pregnancy progresses but all I heard was that it was a miscarriage and I needed to know my blood type because I needed to get a procedure done if the pregnancy doesn't progress.

You could just imagine how JC and I were feeling at this point. I was in tears for hours and pretty discouraged after the days that followed. I was only a few weeks pregnant yet I was so attached to the "baby" already. Although a few family and close friends were praying for us and encouraging us, it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to deal with. During this time, I was just waiting to be rushed to the hospital = waiting for the miscarriage while my husband stayed positive and encouraged me. He didn't give up hope and kept praying.

Monday came, the day of THE appointment, and to our surprise... the pregnancy did progress! I am just in tears as I type and share this now because I really should've trusted the Lord more. Positive or negative, HE KNOWS BEST and this hymn echoed in my heart over the next few weeks and months.

Today, I am 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The baby has been growing and I actually felt him move last night (like a popcorn popping!). Yes, we are having a baby boy (see video) and please do not judge my reaction here hahah as I did want a girl in the beginning!

The last months have been a great time of learning for me.
So far, my pregnancy has taught me a few things:
1.) It taught me how to be more sensitive and cautious than usual because I do not know what other people could be going through. I do not know how many miscarriages or failed attempts at conceiving couples could have gone through. It has taught me to be more compassionate.
2.) It taught me that nothing anyone goes through is ever really common. The thought of a miscarriage, to me, while it happens to a lot of women, is never common when it does happen to you. This goes for other problems anyone may be facing.
3.) Coming from the Asian culture, it is normal to tell people they are fat or compare them with other people, but pregnant women, are already going through SO MANY CHANGES (not just physically but emotionally as well) in their bodies, so please spare her/them the unnecessary comments and instead ask how the pregnancy is going or how they are doing! :-)
4.) It taught me how important it is to have a strong support system. I learned to appreciate my family and friends more through this time and how their encouragement and prayers have helped us.
5.) Last and finally the most important one: it taught me to trust in Jesus even more. I trust Him but I didn't trust Him enough with my pregnancy journey and especially after the scare, the first months were very difficult on me. I worried a lot and I just couldn't help it. I am just almost halfway there and the worry sometimes will never really go away but I love this part of the hymn, so reassuring, that goes:

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er,
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more..."

God has proven His goodness and faithfulness in my life... OVER AND OVER AGAIN - I wouldn't know where to start! And what a beautiful feeling, it truly is sweet to daily trust Him through this journey!

In Him,
Vanessa